Whenever I pick up a self-help book, I always read something about “peak states” – the “optimal states” that some self-help coaches feel their readers should be in 24/7 in order for them to become overnight successes.
I also often hear from readers who are obsessed about getting into the “right state” before they meet women.
Apparently it’s something that’s very popular among some other dating or “seduction” coaches. You do mental exercises for a few hours to get an adrenaline pump before you go out to meet women.
I am not sure if this obsession on “peak states” is healthy.
I think it’s just something to get people to go to expensive seminars…so that they can feel an adrenaline pump for a few hours, get addicted to the feelings, and keep on coming back for more. (There’s a 00 workshop in which you just jump up and down as a group so that even if your skills don’t improve any after the workshop, you will still leave the workshop thinking you’re doing GREAT.)
Here’s my opinion…
While I do not think that anyone should be depressed or act depressed all the time, I also don’t think anyone should operate in a “peak state” for twenty four hours a day.
It’s neither possible or practical.
Your body isn’t a machine. It can’t operate in a “peak state” day and light. You’ll get a burnout after a few hours. (I know because I’ve experimented with the concept myself and got a burnout.)
YES! It’s true to all of us can do better than we’re already doing right now.
BUT there’s a reason all that extra energy is stored in your body as a “reserve”…so that when an emergency arises, you will have the power to get yourself out of it.
Let me give you an example…
A neuro-biologist at the University of Texas has recently done an interesting experiment. He built a small screen that flashed different numbers faster than the eyes could comprehend.
When he gave the clock to the subjects, nobody could read the numbers correctly.
But when he had the subjects reading the clock while doing a bungee jump, most of the subjects were able to read the numbers on the way down.
Now…this could be exciting news for society.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to “tap” into this new power and develop some kind of a drug that could make people live in such a “peak state” all the time?
Productivity would increase and we would all be living like superhumans.
Well…I would like you to think about the last time you did something that gave you a real adrenaline pump, such as bungee-jumping (like in the experiment), sky-diving, a car race, a spar in the boxing ring, or even a hard workout.
Didn’t you get a bit tired once the “rush” was gone?
Now…think about the last time you had a great deal of fun at a nightclub. You were partying and drinking and everything seemed to be a lot of fun.
You had the confident to approach any adultfrienedfinder women in the world. (That’s probably what other coaches refer to as a peak state.)
How did you feel the morning after?
You probably wanted some time alone so you could take a break, didn’t you?
Or even worse…you might have felt WORSE.
Here’s something most self-help and seduction coaches don’t talk about: Bipolar disorder.
There are many people who go through periods of highs and lows called mania and depression episodes.
When these guys get into a “peak state”, they get REALLY hyper…sometimes to the point that they can’t concentrate well. They get excited about everything.
But soon, they get into DEPRESSION mode. They start feeling hopeless, lonely, anxious, and guilty. They lose all their energy.
The biggest difference between a bipolar person and a “normal” person who experiences highs and lows on a daily basis is that with the bipolar person, the periods of hyperactivity will occur most of the day for 1 week or longer.
Geez. That awfully sounds like operating in a “peak state” for 24/7, doesn’t it?
What happens when the pendulum swings to the other side?
What happens when the “peak state” turns into “peak depression” a few weeks later? (Of course, many self-help coaches love this period…as it is when their fans actively seek out the next big seminar to beat depression again.)
Anyway…enough ranting for the day…so what’s my stance on this?
Do I believe we should get into peak states?
Yes. I think we should – when we need to. But I also think we should learn to balance it with rest.
I also think we should not try to rid our body of all negative emotions – which is something other coaches try to teach you all the time.
My belief is that it makes more sense to MANAGE your negative emotions rather than to CURE them.
To me, life is managed, not cured.
Here’s the difference…
Most other coaches tend to give you exercises to “visualize” your success…so that you’ll feel the “pump” and think all your fears have been cured. (Of course, the “pump” will soon go away and you will have to pay more money to get it back.)
I take a slower approach. I get you to “understand” what causes your negative emotions…and I show you how to adjust your attitude and beliefs so that you will learn to manage your negative thoughts.
There’s a huge difference between the two systems. One gives you temporary results. The other makes a lasting impact on your life.
I generally live a “calm” life on a daily basis. It doesn’t mean I don’t have any stress. I probably have a higher workload than most of my readers. But I do try to relax and not getting into any wild swings in my mood, and I definitely don’t try to get into a “peak state” every day.
What I do, however, is to “let go” when I go out and have crazy adventures with women. I don’t think about work while I am partying, and I don’t think about partying while I’m working.
And the most important of all, I REST after a night of hard partying. My motto used to be, “Play hard, work hard.” Now it is “Play hard, work hard, rest hard.”
Do take the time to rest and relax your mind and body…even if it’s just jogging for 15 minutes to relax your mind or taking a 10 minute nap on the bus to rest your body.
Without a healthy body and mind, you cannot be a “Smarter Dater” because your baggage will eventually catch up with you.
You can quote me on that. I know from experience.